User Profile

The weekly Friday Night RPG is my only real social interaction, and isn't that more than a little fucked up. I've played many systems over many years, but find myself still gravitating towards futuristic D20 (starwars & modern) Fading Suns (more the setting than the system) and Godlike. The group I play with is an odd concoction of folk and is no longer my group but more that I am an adjunct to a group centered on the Becky's. Or Becky^2 as I like to think of them. Some days I think it is working well, others a trainwreck. It has been less trainwreck of late. I'm even beginning to like some of them, and I don't like many folk though I try and remain amiable.

I read much quickly sporadically. When a new book catches my fancy, I read for 20 to 30 hrs at a sit, eschewing sleep and food and sometimes even work to finish the book. And then I complain about how the books are too short and I wish I had more to read... maybe I should freakin pace myself, huh. Not bloody likely. I reread the entire series each time a new installment is published. I love Sci-Fi and History, Science and Fantasy. It definitely goes in waves though. I wont open a book for a month or three, and then I will read non-stop for a month of three. Its really quite indicative of most other aspects of my life. I LibraryThing and you should too.

I love movies. Good ones, bad ones, reallly bad ones, you name it. I always seem to have a movie on in the room, even if I'm not actively watching it, just for the noise. The sole exception is when I am reading, and the TV is off. I like some action movies with style and some with cheese. I make no apologies for the cheese. I like comedies to not be too embarrassing for the principles. I have a habit of becoming embarrassed when I see people on screen become so. I'm told its funny to watch. I find it less so. I like science fiction in all its forms. I generally dislike horror movies... as anyone who has seen me jump at a surprise in one will attest to. Its humiliating. I love animated movies of all kinds, with a particular love of movies from Pixar, the ollllld Disney and H. Miyazaki. Spirited Away as incredible.

I like to write, I just wish I were better at it by now. What I am really good at it seems, is NOT writing. I'm the king of not writing. I get home every day from the Crazy Job and I don't write. I spend whole weekends alone in my apartment at my computer not writing. Well, that may be going a step too far as I sit writing this, but it is more true than not. I'm always bothered by on-line journals for a reason I haven't been able to put my finger on yet, but this and others are attempts to keep me writing. Something, ANYthing, just getting words down and doing it often. Perhaps it will help. When I was younger I wrote terrible poetry, now I write terrible short stories, unfinished novels and terrible/unfinished screenplays. It helps to keep a sense of humor.

I am mildly to majorly fucked up in the head. I have a semi-mild (as it comes and goes) case of whole body dysmorphia, I have panic attacks when in crowds or confronted with the very idea of crowds (in this case a crowd is defined as a group of 3+ people), I am vain, I am arrogant, I am narcissistic, I am pedantic, I am depressed. Conversely I am also kind, empathetic, mischievous, optimistic, intelligent and helpful. I understand that some of these traits are in direct contravention of others, they are both true. One emerging as dominant, then the other. I suppose that this might be a good time to say i am also slightly dissociative. The overmind's commentary can be deafening at times. Over all, I was once much worse, now things are out of control but from this chaos I think will come resolution, one way or the other.




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